They say everyone dies alone, but planning a funeral should be a family affair. Just as you plan and discuss legal, retirement, medical and other major life issues with your family, you should discuss your funeral and burial preferences well before you reach the end of life. In our society, a funeral is a time to pay tribute to our dead, but a funeral should also succor the living. Family members should have an opportunity to express their opinions about funeral practices that would be meaningful to them and that might bring them comfort in their grief.

There is no one “right” way to hold a funeral and bury a loved one. Choices should be dictated by any wishes expressed by your loved one before he or she died, but funeral choices should also meet the needs of the family members left behind wherever possible. Discussing these issues while everyone is still healthy and active can make end-of-life decisions easier to make when the time comes.

Families should make burial and memorial choices based on their personal beliefs, family preferences and budget. It can be helpful to interview area funeral homes in advance and review price lists. Commonly requested services are often bundled into cost-effective packages, but most funeral homes will also offer individual services from which families can pick and choose. Discuss options and prices with the funeral home director, then with your family and select options that fit within your family’s budget.

For those who never got their 10 minutes of fame while they were living, an Iowa funeral home has come up with a unique, if bizarre solution. The Des Moines funeral home will place your funeral announcement — with your photo, of course — on high-tech electronic billboards around the city. Family members can arrange to have a favorite picture of their departed loved one, along with details about their life and information about visitation and funeral services, posted larger-than-life in full color for the entire city to see.

The unusual billboard program is a first in the funeral industry, Jessica Koth, a spokeswoman for the National Funeral Directors Association in Brookfield, Wisconsin, told the Associated Press.  Billboard advertisements for funeral homes are common, but this is the first time Koth said she’s ever heard of someone putting information about the deceased or funeral service information on a billboard. The new program has caught some flak for lack of sensitivity, but the general manager of the Des Moines funeral home defends the practice, saying it’s just a modern take on newspaper obituaries.

Who knows whether the idea will catch on, but The Gravesite Masters believe family may be better comforted by online memorials and interactive life legacies and remembrance registries that allow family members to share their memories, thoughts and pictures about their departed loved one.

No one likes to contemplate death, but death is a normal part of the life cycle. Just as you plan for marriage, the birth of a child, the purchase of a home, your children’s college education, and retirement, you should think about what you want to happen in the final chapter of life. Sometimes death comes suddenly or tragically, but even when it creeps up on us slowly, too many of us fail to tell our loved ones what we want our final days to be like.

You can create a living will and medical power of attorney to spell out medical interventions that you do and do not want to be taken if you become incapacitated and unable to speak for yourself toward the end of life. Too often families have no idea how much medical intervention their loved ones want. Elderly patients may suffer needlessly if they haven’t provided a clear directive.

The burden of making memorial, burial and cemetery decisions after a loved one dies can be devastating to grief-stricken spouses and loved ones. When prior arrangements have not been made, unscrupulous funeral homes may take advantage of your loved ones’ grief. Preplanning these decisions removes the burden from your loved ones’ shoulders and ensures that matters will be handled as you wish and within your family’s budget. Your loved ones will be comforted in knowing that they are following your wishes.

If you are planning for the final chapter of life, The Gravesite Masters can help.

My father lost ground in small steps before he died. A fall splintered an ankle which led to a stay in a nursing home. Dad never fully recovered, gradually moving from walker to wheelchair to being bedridden. Through the months a series of caregivers passed through our lives: nurses, physical therapists, aides and finally hospice angles. At least Mom and I considered them angels. They joked with Dad while they cared for him. They reassured us when we worried and held our hands while we grieved for the end that was coming. They were with us the night Dad died, peacefully, in the bed he’d shared with Mom for more than 50 years.

Dad’s primary hospice nurse and the chaplain were able to stop by the funeral home for a brief visit on the day of Dad’s funeral. Like most of the wonderful people that helped Dad through those final difficult months, they were already helping others. Most of Dad’s caregivers were already reassigned and unable to join us for Dad’s memorial. Not being able to thank them in person, we wanted to let them know how much their love and care had meant to Dad and us; so we sent a big bouquet of cheerful sunflowers — Dad’s favorite flower — to the hospice center with a note of thanks.

The Gravesite Masters can assist you in selecting fresh-cut floral bouquets for the funeral home, memorial service, cemetery and sympathy remembrances when someone you love passes on.